1. |
Grenadine & Kerosene
03:20
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Grenadine & Kerosene
© 2021 Carolyn Shulman
You’re desert sun, and I’m exhausted from the heat
My throat gets dry; my head spins too much to think
You found me here, with my friends for a drink
But this thirst survives, and you are not what you seem
You are grenadine
Mixed with kerosene
You are restless sleep spiked with caffeine dreams
When you’re on my mind
You’re like that glass of wine
I should decline
Before my heart spills out of me
So I’ll go home, where I’ve got everything I need
And tell myself to clear my head and breathe
I’m not alone, this is a transient thing
These thoughts don’t mean my heart is broken or weak
You are grenadine
Mixed with kerosene
You are restless sleep spiked with caffeine dreams
When you’re on my mind
You’re like that glass of wine
I should decline
Before my heart spills out of me
Is my heart half empty, or half full?
My blood keeps pooling in the shape of you
A stain where you once stood
I need a cure
Some elixir for this thirst
You are grenadine
Mixed with kerosene
You are restless sleep spiked with caffeine dreams
When you’re on my mind
You’re like that glass of wine
I should decline
Before my heart spills out of me
Oh, you are grenadine
Mixed with kerosene
You are restless sleep spiked with caffeine dreams
When you’re on my mind
You’re like that glass of wine
I should decline
Before my heart spills out of me
Before my heart spills out of me
Oh, oh, hey
Oh, oh, hey
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2. |
Double Stars
03:29
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Double Stars
© 2021 Carolyn Shulman
We are matched together, double stars
Pulsing parallel lights in the dark
Out in space it’s not so hard to see
With you right next to me
Where I wanna be
Set your worries down, my weary one
Cool your burning core until the dawn
And if your gravity’s too much to hold
Let me be your sun ‘til the morning comes
And as we spin through space and time
On elliptical orbit lines
Our love’s the constant force that guides
Our courses through the sky
Steady now so we don’t burn too fast
I need this light to last
For another day
When my axis feels a little bent
When my energy is all but spent
When my wobble throws me off my track
Veering towards the unknown black
Your pull can guide me back
And as we spin through space and time
On elliptical orbit lines
Our love’s the constant force that guides
Our courses through the sky
Steady now so we don’t burn too fast
I need this light to last
On our own, the light we shed’s too dim
And the cold could do us in
Other stars may beckon, burning bright
Seeming warmer on dark nights
But our system’s working out so far
And by chance or fate or physics, here we are
We are matched together, double stars
Circling ‘round inside each other’s arms
Rising, setting, lighting up the dark
It started with a spark, and a dream inside our hearts
And as we spin through space and time
On elliptical orbit lines
Our love’s the constant force that guides
Our courses through the sky
Steady now so we don’t burn too fast
I need this light to last
For another day
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3. |
Time to Let It Go
03:44
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Time to Let It Go
© 2021 Carolyn Shulman
So many years, you’ve been a friend of mine
So many years of reading ‘tween the lines
Was it always hard? I can’t recall
I check the rearview mirror, but the glass is fogged
Maybe it’s time to let it go
Maybe it’s time to let it go, oh
People change, and people grow
Take diverging paths, or a rocky road
They say a window opens when a door has closed
What if our door is stuck, the hinges rusty & slow?
Maybe it’s time to let it go
Maybe it’s time to let it go, oh
You can wield your words to heal or hurt
So you throw a barb, plant a few grenades in the dirt
Well you hit your mark, I hope it felt real good
You called it friendly fire, said I misunderstood
Maybe it’s time to let it go
Maybe it’s time to let it go
I think it’s time to let this go
I think it’s time to let you go, oh
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4. |
Matter of Time
03:07
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Matter of Time
© 2021 Carolyn Shulman
Where'd that old feeling go?
Did it drown in a bottle of wine?
Did we work so long, try so hard
We straightened every crooked line
Let's get lost, take a wrong turn
Screwing up's the best way to learn
We'll never get anywhere but bitter and burned
'Til we cross that line
It's just a matter of time
Well, sometimes the days go by
Like a matchbox starting to burn
Driving ‘round town, runs me into the ground
Peace and quiet is something you earn
Let's get lost, take a wrong turn
Screwing up's the best way to learn
We'll never get anywhere but bitter and burned
‘Til we cross that line
It's just a matter of time
Well I know you work all day,
And you must be so damn tired
But you know I love the way
I can count on you to break out a smile
Let's get lost, take a wrong turn
Screwing up's the best way to learn
We'll never get anywhere but bitter and burned
‘Til we cross that line
It's just a matter of time
We’ll never get anywhere but bitter and burned
‘Til we cross that line
It’s just a matter of time
Where’d that old feeling go?
Let’s open up a bottle of wine.
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5. |
Broken Wing
03:44
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Broken Wing
© 2021 Carolyn Shulman
I’ve been stuck in this place for days on end
Feeling sorry for myself and wondering when
Like a bird, I will fly, spread my wings in the wind
But I, I never saw a bird fly with a broken wing
Well, I can lie in my bed, covers pulled to my chin
Or I can hide in my head as my racing thoughts spin
Or I can open up the door, step outside, and begin
Cause I can’t watch another day go by with my broken wing
Sometimes we’ve gotta slow down
While our broken places heal
We pray for miracles but miss that ones
That take time to reveal
So I’ll take time with myself, and I will walk before I run
The journey’s slow, and sometimes lonely, but I am not the only one
And every time I turn around, I can see just how far I’ve come
‘Til I’m flying past the memory of a broken wing
Now as I fly into the world that I missed on the mend
I can sail, and I can soar, against the blue that never ends
And I know there’ll be moments I’ll take it all for granted again
But I’m better for the days I waited with a broken wing
‘Cause I, I never saw a bird fly with a broken wing
Watch me as I fly
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6. |
Across the Borderline
03:35
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Across the Borderline
© 2021 Carolyn Shulman
You woke up early, before the sun rose
You packed some water and some worn out clothes
You got your girls up, whispered “it’s time to go”
Took one last look before the door closed
You don’t know what lies ahead, only what you leave behind
And you’re searching for salvation ‘cross the border line
Every footstep is a prayer, you beg safe passage ‘till you’re there
You hope God will give you refuge ‘cross the border line
The desert miles are long; your muscles ache
Your belly’s empty; how much more can you take?
The sun keeps beating down; your girls are crying now
The water’s low and time is running out
You don’t know what lies ahead
Only what you left behind
And you’re yearning for salvation ‘cross the borderline
Every footstep is a prayer
You beg safe passage till you’re there
And you can rest inside that refuge ‘cross the borderline
What could you do when the one who said he’d care for you
Sold out your trust for a quick fix and a buck or two
He led the wolves right to your door
You were not safe there anymore, no
When you arrived, you thought God heard your prayers
Until a guard barked, “You go here, those girls go there”
Before you knew what had gone wrong
He had ripped them from your arms
And now they’re frightened and alone somewhere
You don’t know what lies ahead
Only what you left behind
Now you’re yearning for your children ‘cross the borderline
Every phone call is a prayer
You beg them hold on ‘til you’re there
You ask God to reunite you
Oh you thought God would give you refuge
God please grant them strength and refuge
Oh God forgive us for these sins across the borderline
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7. |
Hallowed Light
03:20
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Hallowed Light
©️ 2021 Carolyn Shulman
The morning light through the blinds
Hits your eyes just right
And the shadows haunting our night can’t
Survive in this hallowed light
Before the day runs ahead
Let’s hold this moment tight
Breathe the air in and let it
Fill us up with life
And you know my demons
And the fears in my chest
Time and again you find the place where
My best self lives
And your love is right on time
It’s fusing my broken lines
They say that a fracture is stronger
In the place where it’s healed with time
The morning light through the blinds
Hits your eyes just right
And the shadows haunting our night can’t
Survive in this hallowed light
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8. |
The Other Side
04:05
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The Other Side
© 2021 Carolyn Shulman
Wish I could stop my mind
Running on overdrive
Wipe my memory clean
And start again, start again
You’d get the best of me
Maybe that’s all there’d be
No need to seek advice
No thinkin’ twice; no thinkin’ twice
But that’s not the world we live in
There’s no boat to paradise
So I guess I’ll just try swimming
'Til I reach the other side
The other side
This life won’t lead itself
Stuffed in a box on a shelf
Collecting dust and killing time
Waiting for some sign, some sign
And that’s just the world we live in
There’s no boat to paradise
So I know I must try swimming
'Til I reach the other side
This time is all we have
And our days are flying fast
But I’m paralyzed upon the same old path
And all these choices feel the same
So I cannot find my way
And my broken compass cannot lead me back
Wish I could sail through the years
To some future bright and clear
No rocks upon that shore
Find what I’m looking for
But that’s not the world we live in
There’s no boat to paradise
So I’ve got to keep on swimming
'Til I reach the other side
The other side
’Til I reach the other side
The other side
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9. |
Sun in the Rain
03:55
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Sun In the Rain
© 2021 Carolyn Shulman
I don’t wanna live
Under this dark cloud
Waiting for the sky to open up
Waiting for the bottom to drop out
So I’ll search for some blue sky
And I’ll search for the sun when the rain’s falling down
Sometimes the fog obscures my sight
But still I press on
Cautiously watching the road in my headlights
Clutching the wheel ‘til I make it home alright
But I’ll search for some blue sky
And I’ll search for the sun when the rain’s falling down
Like a candle that flickers but stays lit
Like a firefly that’s windblown but won’t quit
When my chest aches, my soul dark with its weight
I can look for the sun
I don’t wanna live
Under this dark cloud
Waiting for the sky to open up
Waiting for the bottom to drop out
But I see my blue sky
And I see the sun when the rain’s falling down
Falling down
Falling down
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10. |
I Don't Miss You
03:00
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I Don’t Miss You
© 2021 Carolyn Shulman
Well, you know sometimes I wish I’d never met you
Wish I had not surrendered to your smile
And most days I regret how long I let you
Crawl beneath my skin and squeeze your fingers around my brain
Until you drove me right insane there for awhile.
But I don’t miss you, not one bit
When I see you, I will spit into your eye
And say hello, then I’ll wave goodbye and go.
Do you recall that night you came to my place
Looking for a quick and guiltless time
We had some fun, and when you left the next day
You left your hat, and it sat in my closet for eight months
And when I wore it once, you yelled until I cried
But I don’t miss you, not one bit
When I see you, I will spit into your eye
And say hello, then I’ll wave goodbye and go.
Naomi Judd said love can build a bridge
But I think it is time that our bridge burn
Sometimes it still makes me sad, a smidge
To think about you, but when I do
I stop and think about you as a pebble in my shoe
That was a minor annoyance in my day,
But I shook it out, and got on my way,
And I was okay, I’ll be okay, I’m okay
‘Cuz I don’t miss you, not one bit
When I see you, I’ll just spit into your eye
And say hello, then I’ll wave goodbye and go
I will wave goodbye and go
I will wave goodbye and go
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11. |
Deepest Blue
04:48
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The Deepest Blue
© 2021 Carolyn Shulman
These moments of solitude are keeping me alive
They let me think of you
Reminding me that I survived
The deepest blue
And in this silence, one melody rings true
It reminds me of a song I knew
And it sings me to sleep like your lullabies
When you cradled me inside
The deepest blue
Well, I know you see the same sky I do
And it brings me peace to know I loved you
And our twilight is melting into
The deepest blue
So I can sleep now with the memory of you
Tucked safely in my dreams
And I don’t have to cry, for the first time I know why
Our love has grown into
The deepest blue
These moments of solitude are keeping me alive
They let me think of you and smile
Reminding me to hold onto
The deepest blue
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Carolyn Shulman Denver, Colorado
Folk & Americana singer-songwriter. Guitar nerd. Whiskey enthusiast. Mom. Volunteer. Activist. Believer that music can change lives. Used to practice law; now I'm chasing a dream.
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